Seperation of Kirk and State

So, usually when I write my blogs, if nothing else, I've at least scratched to paper the order of my thoughts and what I want to say when I want to say them. Today I'm doing the opposite, just dipping into my brain and pulling out whatever presents itself. We'll see how it goes.

I digress: I love reading. I'll devour any book within my reach. The only exception to the rule is books that I'm made to read in school. Not, by any stretch of the imagination, because of their quality, but because my Achilles Heel is that I cannot finish anything by a deadline, so I usually just opt to forget it all together. That being said, why then, should I neglect the Bible? Yes, ladies and gentleman I'm finally doing it. I'm writing about religion.

Over the course of my adventure at Jackson, I've noticed a not-so-slight shift in the feeling of God for my fellow students. My scientific estimation is that there has been a certain lack of interest for the whole population of the U.S. In the UK, Christians are a minority. This movements has seemed to transcend the Atlantic ocean and is now coming into our very own homes and infecting us.

All theories and all religions aside I must admit, the notion of being an Atheist seems to me a silly one. On more than on occasion I have made an attempt to discuss with my friends the idea of forever. Most of them disregard my comments, offering me something along the lines of "Yeah, a long time." But it's not just something I can shake off. It scares me even to think about it sometimes. So I ask you, the Atheist of the 21st century: Is it worth risking a life of eternal damnation just because you failed to side with someone? In my best analogy to date; that would be like someone offering you a million dollars if you could only pick the winning team of a sporting event, but you'd rather just sit there in your own poverty.

Once, while walking with my brother to the car the subject of Jesus Christ, came up. He said to me something along the lines of, "I've kind of had a falling out with God." Since, I think he has regained his religious stability and is an active member in his Church. I have not been able to locate such tranquility of mind. In my many years of middle school God was a big thing for me. It wasn't until 8th grade when my brother left for college that our Church muscle atrophied and eventually became not a part of our life. I have recently found myself wanting to be part of some religious affiliation, but I just can't bring myself to do it. As Lucy Grealy writes in her memoir, "Autobiography of a Face:"

...In the secrecy of my room, I decided I wanted this light, this peace, this glow. But the scenarios always ended the same way, with the stranger leaving and the troubled family left alone to ponder and resolve to change. I always wanted to turn the page, to know how or what the troubled family could actually do in order to believe. After all, I was sold, I wanted to have Jesus help me out and make me good and strong and pure, all of the things I was sure I wasn't -- but exactly how was I supposed to do this?

So I ride the high horse of Moral Obligation for a few days until something like thiscomes up and I feel disgusted and spiral downward into a world of sodomization and filth. Has anyone else seen the show "Chain Reaction?" It's a game show, and the rules are fairly simple: a two words are given and contestants must make up a story that gets them from word A to word B. The truth of the matter is, there is only one conspiracy here. It is one that has little to do with religion and more to do with why Phillip Pullman is a better writer than I am. What's a boy to do?