A Notable Fascist

Usually my ideas just come to me. "That is the wonderful thing about the mind," my good friend (who ironically is aspiring to be a professor of neurology)said to me recently, "It's crazy how an organ can come up with coherent and original thoughts. Thoughts that no other brain has." I guess my brain is more...coherent if you will, than others. I seem to be able to pump out these babies pretty quickly.

Anyway, I wish I could accredit this post entirely to myself. However, this, I regret to inform you, is not the case. You have this man to blame: While searching for a new pair of shoes, I visited a Journey's store. I, myself have never paid more than 25 dollars for a pair of shoes. (Mind you, I have received more expensive shoes as gifts.) and that being said I reasonably deduced that someone would never buy a pair of shoes that the MSRP was more than 25 bucks. However, it has recently come to my attention that people not only pay double that amount, but often four times the amount I shell out for my footwear.

Please, do not stop there. While questing for shoes worthy of being worn by me, I practically tripped over what I mistook for Styrofoam cups- crocs. These things have got to be the biggest joke in the world. People offer up to the executive powers of America 35 dollars for the opportunity to wear these puppies. Apparently they all did not receive notice and everyone is under the impression that these little guys look good.

Seeking justification for their nobel cause, I made my way to the Croc's website. As soon as I entered what I saw disgusted me. I immediately lost any ability to maintain any of my bodily functions that retain liquids or solids. It was very difficult for me to do so, however, I was able to narrow down why I hate this website so much:

The very first thing that caught my eye was the fact that the corporate executives at the Croc's Factory feel that it is a fitting title to have different 'styles' I have for your enjoyment, and to make my heart feel a little bit better, two of the women's style shoes.

Now, I ask you, is there any man alive willing, or even who is able to differentiate between the two of these shoes? I, as the rest of you am only able to see one difference: the fact that the shoe to the left has a strap, and the shoe to the right does not. If two cars are made exactly the same, save that one has a sun roof, and the other does not, does that make them different models? No. We, as Americans need to stop taking all of this advertising bull-crap, and start deciding for ourselves what we do, and do not like.The conclusion ladies and gentlemen. To me, it's sickening how much money people will pay for these over-sized packing peanuts. So, I've decided to come up with an enumeration (that is, for all of you whose repertoire is not as large as mine, list) of things for you to do that would be more deserving of 35 dollars patronage.

1) Take your old-fashioned rubber-made sneakers and go buy yourself not one, not two, not three, but four movie tickets. Or take a date and see two movies.

2) It seems that I am not the only one who hates these things. While conducting research for my blog, I came across this website. What's better, there is a link there to go to an I hate crocs store. For only half the price of the ugly things you may purchase an I hate Crocs t-shirt. And with the other half of the money you saved by not buying crocs, treat yourself to an I hate Crocs toat bag.

3) That's really all I had for the list, in fact, the only reason I made a list was to give myself a chance to show off the word "enumeration".

If' you'd like a fun video, please go here.